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Matt Brody is a 2-time Olympic champion swimmer. However, due to drug and alcohol problems he has fallen from grace, to the point that he now has to perform community service as part of a plea deal for an offense. He will serve his time as a lifesaver at Emerald Bay lifeguard station, run by the no-nonsense Mitch Buchannon. Brody soon discovers that his celebrity status will earn him no favours. Meanwhile, people are dying in mysterious circumstances in Emerald Bay and Buchannon and his lifesaving team investigate. The occurrences may be linked to a nearby property development.
Devoted lifeguard Mitch Buchannon butts heads with a brash new recruit, as they uncover a criminal plot that threatens the future of the bay.
But I'll lay it all out for you. Honestly.
In an effort to match hit-TV-version and the collective heft of its cleavage, (or Pamela Lee) - "Baywatch" the-film-version renders all its characters as silly-iconic pairs of Boobies. Those famous slow-mo's of the 90's are upgraded to a full pro-mo's just to fit the 2010's of "what exactly are we into now, seriously?" For instance, in the film, CJ only runs in slow motion...every single time she runs, she's in slow-mo.
Never mind that, I mean, the movie is funny on a pretty good level (and in a good way) if you're being honest. It's better than being a Gluteus-Maxi- Mus, for sure, although there's plenty of those in the movie, too. I believe this is pretty much in line with the (sexy, yes but kinda' corny) TV show inspiring it, although I've never seen it's seasons, completely. I recall "Baywatch" as it was the television equivalent of a suicidal diet: 90 percent cheesecake.
Dwayne "The Great One" Johnson stars as the legendary head lifeguard Mitch Buchannon and Zac Efron as the cocky and reckless trainee Matt Brody. Mitch isn't just some forty-something guy in a wooden tower, twirling his whistle and keeping an eye on the tides. In fact he's more of a superhero than a mere lifeguard. Hardly a day goes by without Mitch performing amazing feats, from saving a woman and her two children from drowning to boarding a boat that's engulfed in flames and dragging multiple hot women to safety. In fact we're told he has saved more than 500 lives on his beach. Five hundred! Apparently that beach is more dangerous than many a war zone.
Efron's Matt is a two-time Gold Medal winner who fell from grace after a night of partying led to him throwing up in the pool during an Olympic relay race, costing his teammates their shot at gold and turning Matt into "The Vomit Comet."
Gee, can you guess what happens?
It's a thought we should find comforting.
Just because you acknowledge you're in a movie based on a kitschy TV show doesn't necessarily mean you're in a GOOD movie based on a TV show.
"Baywatch" is the latest movie to raunchy-FY its small-screen source material, a la "21 Jump Street" and "CHIPS." The formula isn't the problem. Laughter trumps critical analysis every time. Alas, laughter was in short supply in the theatre. Nothing is louder than silence in the wake of a joke. It's the sound of a vacuum sucking all the oxygen from the room. "Baywatch" is comedic asphyxiation. If you absolutely must see it, I recommend renting a pressurised suit from NASA first.
The series ran for 11 seasons, anchored by David Hasselhoff, who is to the '80s and '90s what William Shatner was to the '60s and '70s - a tongue-in-cheek irony machine. Hasselhoff's character, champion seaside lifeguard Mitch Buchannon, is played in the movie by Dwayne Johnson, who has a similar cornball charm. Hasselhoff enjoys a cameo in the film - not a spoiler, as his name is in the opening credits - which means there are two Mitch Buchannons on the screen at the same time, and if this caused a rift in the space-time continuum, I didn't notice it. At this point, so many modern comedies have broken the fourth wall, the space-time continuum likely shrugs it off, and continues its unfeeling, uncaring, nigh-infinite trudge forward to the heat death of the universe, an event that will at long last make dumb Hollywood remakes of dumb TV shows extinct.
Overall, Dwayne and Efron are as like-able as ever, but they've played better-developed characters on "Saturday Night Live." Still though, if you're in the mood, give it a watch, it ain't that bad.
It was just lighthearted fun, I really enjoyed it. The plot wasn't perfect but it made me laugh, had some great subtle jokes, and was just a good time. Baywatch by nature is cheesy and full of clichés and the movie was self aware and acknowledge it and made fun o fit. If you're in the mood for some care free movie watching this was great.
The film may pretend it’s more sophisticated than the show that spawned it, but its comedic stylings are alarmingly regressive.
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