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Tired of the sexual escapades on earth by his daughter Venus, Jupiter, the god of Lightning, decides he shall marry her soon to one of the candidates: Maciste, a mortal working in Vulcano's cave, and Mars, the god of War. But Mars abducts Venus, allied with Pluto and Eris, and works out a plan involving a bamboo tower high enough for the soldiers of the Thracian King to attack Jupiter in the high Olympus. The gods' contend will be resolved in human fashion on Earth, where even gods are mortal.
A superhero battles lizard men and other monsters that are terrorizing the countryside.
This is now my fourth encounter with a movie involving Italian film-maker Emimmo Salvi – 2 of which proved positive but the remainder were not; consequently, I cannot say that I am looking forward to catch up with a fifth title...which is bound to be the Spaghetti Western, WANTED JOHNNY Texas (1967)! Anyway, the film under review is yet another peplum dealing with mythological Greek gods and must surely rank as one of the weirdest ever made – sometimes breaching a level of awfulness that almost equals the one displayed by Luigi Cozzi's more inventive HERCULES revamps of the 1980s!
Rod Flash (a pseudonym for Iloosh Khoshabe!) plays the titular blacksmith (the Roman god of fire) forging weapons for the likes of Achilles in the Olympian foundry who is improbably involved in a divine love triangle with the nymphomaniac Venus (played by Annie Gorassini being, quite evidently, the Roman goddess of love!; her initial tryst with Adonis is summarily ended by a lightning bolt thrown by an angered Jupiter!) and Mars (for being the Roman god of war and impersonated by future "Argoman" Roger Browne, he is pretty ineffectual in combat and has to seek the help of humans to reach his vengeful ambitions!). The ensuing struggle angers the king of gods, Jupiter (the Roman equivalent of the Greek almighty, Zeus) who sends them all to sort out their romantic issues on Earth! Lamely, despite all manner of wild-eyed characters and wild creatures, the conflict is finally resolved by Jupiter's anti-climactic vocal admonishment from the skies after all! For what it is worth, among the other inhabitants on Mount Olympus that put in an incidental appearance here are Pluto (incarnated by Salvi regular Gordon Mitchell and prone as ever to maniacal cackling!) and Mercury (played by character actor Isarco Ravaioli).
On the earthly side of the fence, Vulcan is abetted by Bella Cortez (playing his new love interest Aetna and the protagonist of a surprisingly sensual dance routine that for once justifies these normally terminally bland additions to the peplum stew), a pony-riding dwarf (ingenious or what?) and a sleepy-eyed Neptune and his Morlock-like minions! Hindering his progress, so to speak, are a Thracian warlord (who is somehow convinced by Mars to build a tower all the way up to Olympus with the intent of besieging it!) and his awfully silly-looking fanged lizard men!! This unheralded and (mostly unintentionally) enjoyable viewing came by way of a very battered, highly washed-out English-dubbed print available on a "You Tube" channel dedicated to this most maligned of film subgenres.
The Roman Gods take center stage in this one with an old fashioned Olympic triangle taking place at the home of the Gods. Venus, the God of beauty and love is making a play for Vulcan and she's got him panting hot and heavy after her. That upsets Mars and Jupiter banishes all three to earth to sort it all out.
Vulcan finds himself a nice earthly mortal who rivals Venus for her beauty, but he still doesn't like Mars. And Mars has got himself a Tower of Babel like scheme whereby he allies himself with some earthly despots to build a tower as tall as Olympus. Can Vulcan stop him in time from challenging Jupiter himself?
The Greeks and Romans did not believe in one all seeing and all pervasive spirit like Deity. They liked their immortals with all the, dare I say it, human frailties built in. The idea for the film is an interesting one, but the roles would require some classically trained actors, not people who are used to peplum spectacles.
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