Nazis At The Center Of The Earth Download Torrent
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DOWNLOAD: http://urllio.com/r4btm
DOWNLOAD: http://urllio.com/r4btm
Researchers in Antarctica are abducted by a team of masked storm troopers. They are dragged deep underground to a hidden continent in the center of the earth. Here Nazi survivors, their bodies a horrifying patchwork of decaying and regenerated flesh, are planning for the revival of the Third Reich.
Wow! What did I just watch?
I recall zombie robot Hitler, imagine Hitlers head on a mini Optimus Prime body, I'm calling him Optimus Hitler, and with the incredible gift of sub par Playstation 2 graphical power he attempts to take over all non Aryan countries by dropping flesh eating bacterial bombs from his flying Nazi saucer
yes you read that correctly
A flying Nazi saucer which emerges from the center of the Earth no less, now I'm no expert on geology but I do know the center of the Earth is roughly 4000 miles below the Earths surface, I only bring this up as our "heroes" and I use the term heroes lightly as this group is as forgettable as a week old cheese sandwich left out in the sun, journey down a shaft that is nowhere near 4000 miles, perhaps 2 miles if I'm being very generous.
A CGI snow-cat vehicle (surely renting a real one would have been more cost effective)
A Wilhelm scream in opening skirmish, I call it a skirmish but it was really just four guys in a row shooting at a few other guys with no actual sense that they were shooting at each other, like watching one sided tennis, watch it and see.. Actually just watch grass grow instead.
A zombie Nazi gang rape (just an excuse to get gratuitous boob shots in) and whatever happened to that girl? Did they kill her afterward? It all seemed so unnecessary and left a nasty taste in mouth.
"Saw" type torture porn scenes with the most efficient face peeling in history.
I'm no expert on the fine art of peeling someone's face off but I imagine an incision across the forehead followed by a quick pull would not allow a face to come off unspoilt and then be stitched onto another head, it wasn't like that in "Face Off" which segues nicely into Dominique Swain who starred in that and whose career has gone so far down the toilet that Jake Buseys teeth act her off the screen here. Her character is hilariously inconsistent, she's hero-villain-hero, actually the only consistent thing is her bad acting.
I actually enjoyed the last twenty minutes when Optimus Hitler shows up, one of our "heroes" attempts a daring escape by jogging away very slowly and is decapitated by Optimus Hitler in an unintentionally hilarious scene.
The final battle is so naff that I couldn't help but smile, after Optimus Hitlers saucer crashes by aid of Jake Busey suddenly turning from villain to hero, presumably because the script told him to, we get a final face off between Optimus Hitler and Dominique Swain's bad acting. And if this film taught me anything its that the nastiest of evil is no match for unconvincing acting as Optimus Hitler sinks into the Antarctic waters immediately followed by Dominique Swain accepting a marriage proposal from some forgettable guy
.as you do
.after fighting a Nazi robot zombie Hitler.
As movies from Global Asylum productions go this wasn't the worst, but that's akin to saying that stale biscuits are tastier than moldy bread
Gary Busey circa 1978... no, wait, that's his creepy lookalike son Jake Busey circa now... is a brilliant college professor who... and then these zombie Nazis rip a guy's face off... they take a brain out of this cute Asian chick and... there's this robot with Hitler's head because... and then the zombie Nazis rip some girl's clothes off and... after the Nazi flying saucer shoots lasers at the Australians... and then the girl who played "Lolita"... JUST BUY THIS MOVIE BUY IT BUY IT SELL OR PAWN WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO AND BUY THIS MOVIE AND SHOW IT TO YOUR FRIENDS AND YOUR MOM AND YOUR PET HAMSTER BUNKY JUST BUY IT BECAUSE EVERY BEING ON EARTH SHOULD OWN THIS MOVIE AND WATCH IT EVERY NIGHT INSTEAD OF WHEEL OF FORTUNE
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