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DOWNLOAD: http://urllio.com/ra58s
An abandoned oil rig in the middle of the North Sea. Dr. Christine Hansen is charged with the task of testing an experimental cleaning fluid which could revolutionize the oil industry. Hired to carry out the tests is Jacob Rasmussen and his rough and ready crew of deconstruction engineers. But within hours one of them is missing under suspicious circumstances. Things go from bad to worse when environmental activist Mickey Hennessey and his hard-bitten associates seize control of the rig, taking everybody on board hostage. But very soon oil workers and environmentalists will be compelled to join forces in an evolutionary battle for survival. For a savage new life-form has made its home on the rig. And it is hungry.
I highly recommend this film.
I wrote down the synopsis as I think it may be helpful:
The costs of decommissioning an oilrig after its lifespan has ended are huge. Yoho Oil believes that it has found a solution that allows defunct rigs to be decommissioned safely by developing an enzyme that feeds off prevalent harmful commodities. A cleaning crew is assigned the task of spraying the Johnny Alpha rig with the enzyme. They have 24 hours to clean it and lay explosives that will release it from the seabed.
The rig's interior is sprayed with the enzyme, but, in its depths the bacteria are reacting with the remains of the oilrig's dead cat and a breeding ground is forming fast.
With the rig soon doused with bacteria, crew leader Hansen radios to the helicopter to pick them up. The reply comes back that a storm is approaching and there will be an overnight delay. Accustomed as they are to such setbacks, the crew makes the most of their situation and hold a party~ But something is moving in the lower bowels of the rig.
Kim and Jacob go to the roof of the rig and are getting more intimately acquainted when they notice a stream of slime dripping from above them and hear screams from below. Carefully they make their way to the noise and are shocked by what they see!
In the depths of the rig, there are giant parasites and they are growing rapidly, moving onto puddles of bacteria continually growing in size. Gio catches up with Kim and Jacob and they try to catch a vicious parasite but it spits acid in Gio's face. Kim goes for help as she recognizes this as the beginning of a mutation over which they have no control.
The power suddenly runs down and the rig is cast into darkness. By torchlight the remaining group start to construct makeshift weapons out of the backpack tanks.
Each carrying 'flame thrower' packs, they go to the generator room but discover that the cables that support the power have melted through in many different places and are covered in slime. Jacob slowly extends his hand towards the comer and touches something slimy and horrible.
As he pulls back his hand his flesh bubbles painfully and he is hit in the face by a thick spray of acid. The parasites are certainly in control!
There is just one way to be sure that all of the bugs are killed; the rig must be blown up. But where can the remaining team hide?
If you like scary, suspenseful movies, you'll love PARASITE.
Every now and then a buddy of mine and myself sit down with your usual set of junk food and watch a new piece of art from our favourite genre: mutant animal movies. Ahhh, mutant animals (read: bad cgi) hunting down a team of experts (some airheads) through a deserted, dark building (cheap studio sets)! You don't have much expectations with a premise like this. Normally, you'll get some splatter effects, gratuitous nudity and it really doesn't matter if you leave the TV for a minute to make room for more Pepsi. Mutant animal movies are stupid and fun to watch.
Parasite is not.
The film is about a deserted (of course) oil rig, that is supposed to be cleaned before sinking via a newly developed, uh... fog or something. Things go wrong, because the experts are a bunch of idiots. They simply IGNORE an official letter from their boss they find, where the exact mixing proportions for the cleaning substance are noted, next to a big, fat, biohazard sign. They find the letter, they read it, and then put it away. Now, this IS stupid, and it has just begun. That biohazard stuff infects a worm or snake or whatever (couldn't tell due to bad cgi), which of course gets quiet big and start killing people, not only the team but also a bunch of environment protecting terrorists, who have no function in the story other than being snake/worm food.
So far, so good (and I really don't care that it's cheap and stupid), but this movie is just lame. After the first five minutes of shaky DV camcorder footage, nothing, absolutely nothing happens for at least half an hour (and not much more afterward). It's all dialog that won't add to the story or the atmosphere or the characters or whatever. For a low budget film like Parasite, this is fatal, because without an evolving story that drags your attention (or at least some funny lines/gratuitous nudity/blood), the film gives you time to recognize its countless other flaws.
Either the director had some ingenious plan that didn't work out in the editing room, or he just didn't care. They use close ups nearly all the time, leaving you confused of where everybody is and what the heck they're doing there. Almost as to compensate this, there are some exterior shots (cgi) edited into the movie every now and then, without system, obviously just to remember us of the fact that this takes place on an oil rig (frankly, you couldn't tell from the sets, which look much like my grandma's cellar).
As I mentioned before, I really don't care if a monster movie's premise is stupid or if there are no production values but I'm getting really annoyed if it isn't even mildly entertaining. For something entertaining you have to have a solid screenplay and/or a talented director, and Parasite loses at both tables. The film is full of scenes you might have seen in similar movies (so at least it fulfills some genre standards), but here those scenes are indiscriminately thrown into a mixer. The outcome is chaotic. Nothing you'll ever see has a dramatic function, no actions our "heroes" take make any sense at all, because there is no story. The whole film is nothing but a plot hole bigger than my butt.
Put all those flaws together and you get 96 minutes of confusing nonsense that is practically unwatchable. We were neither drunk nor stoned nor tired and, as far as I can tell, we are not stupid, but from some point at about the middle of the film we simply did not understand what was going on anymore.
Worst Creature Feature in years. (2/10, just for the fact that it had a mutant worm. Or snake.)
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