The Case for Public Sex Classes

Beckenstein’s experience shows why any accessible sex and sexuality class not only needs to cover communication, consent, coercion, and boundary setting, but, as Hart said, it also has to cover things like gender identity, race, class, and disability. “Our identities inform our experiences with our body and with sex and sexuality,” Saah said. “So my experience is very much informed by being a black, first gen, cisgender woman. That informs how I’ve been conditioned to see my body, to experience my body, the way people have treated my body, and how I feel like my body is allowed to experience pleasure; who I’ve been told pleasure is for, who it’s not for.”

Young people want this information, too — something many sex educators and young people stress. They are going to have sex anyways, so they need to have the skills to navigate their own sexuality, sexual situations, and relationships, generally. Sex educator Cindy Lee Alves said sex is a practice, like yoga or like adopting better study habits. “Like I can read a book on football — that does not mean that I’ll be able to play in the Super Bowl,” they said.

Saah and Alves said public sex and sexuality classes, if they were made available, should be accessible in as many places as possible and as early as possible — though there may be political barriers to that.

But there might be other options that could be provided outside of schools. Sex educator Kait Scalisi recommended the Our Whole Lives (OWL) program, which was developed by the Unitarian Universalist Association (UUA) and the United Church of Christ (UCC). The secular program can be offered anywhere and it addresses sexuality, gender, and pleasure, among other things.

The program currently offers six curricula: grades K-1; grades 4-6; grades 7-9; grades 10-12; young adult, which is ages 18 to 35; and adult, which is 36 and up. OWL Program Associate Melanie Davis told Teen Vogue the program is also creating a new curriculum for older adults ages 50 and up. She said the program takes into account that “we are complex people with complex areas that we need to learn about and understand and accept.” In addition to teaching consent and boundary setting, Davis said it also teaches “that it's OK to say yes and that we don't shame them for wanting to say yes or to having pleasure.”

And that’s what should be at the crux of any good sex and sexuality class: that people have a right to pleasure — to figuring out how their sexuality has been impacted by the world around them, to find out what it is right for them, to have healthy relationships, to have agency over their own body, or to not have sex at all.

Pleasure is bigger than just sex, too. Saah said that when we teach people sexual skills related to consent and navigating relationships and boundaries and asking for what they want, “we're also giving people skills that they can use outside of sex throughout their life.”

“It's a form of empowerment,” she said. “So when we're teaching people how to desire something and to go after what they desire for their bodies, we're also telling people … what do you desire when it comes to your friendships? What do you desire when it comes to our world? And how can we move towards that instead of just settling for non-consensual and non-pleasurable, non-affirming sexual interactions, friendships, relationships, work experiences, and our country.”

* Name has been changed.

Source: https://www.teenvogue.com/story/the-case-for-public-sex-classes